BACH2014/Art of mediation

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The Art of Mediation


  • Intimate understanding of a situation and the healing happening
  • You can see possible solutions, the middle ground that's better than each of the two sides
  • Bringing people together in a place where everyone feels heard, safe, respected
  • Face-saving modalities
  • Asking questions and ensuring people are heard
  • Mirroring: deeper understanding and empathy


  • Taxing, labor-intensive
  • Getting stuck in unproductive emotional states
  • Social anxiety
  • Resistance, people refusing to take responsibility for their own shit
  • People being repetitive
  • Mirroring: psychic burden
  • Drawing the line between facilitation and mediation (eg if more than two parties are involved)
  • The thought of engaging in it can be daunting


  • Let online conflicts sit for 24 hours before attempting to mediate
  • Some conflicts can be resolved so simply with a random coin flip
  • Don't take things personally
  • Mediate out of band (offline)
  • Pre-empt future possible conflict by approaching seeming adversaries and asking if they want to join a conversation
  • "Criticize in private, praise in public"
  • Walls are like a blanket
  • You want to leave everyone feeling good and wanting more